Internet Oracle Humor
31 July 2003, 9:09 PM

Hee-hee-hee!

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Date: Thu, 17 Jul 03 13:24:19 -0500
From: Internet Oracle
Subject: Internet Oracularity #1327-04
Selected-By: Christophe

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O great Oracle who designs all these fantastic
> constants: Please tell me why we have to do pointless
> AND boring experiments in physics to find
> inaccurate versions of constants that we already
> know?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

Ohm my god - Avogadro tell you a story Joule really like!

I Nu this fellow Schroedinger who was great at interviewing people - he was like an emcee, squared. Anyway, Theta-ther day Schroedinger offered to sell me his cat (I guess he didn't Quantum). So, um, the Moment,um, I first see this cat he Volts! And now every time I come home he Boltz,mann! He gets Tensor and Tensor.. like his former owner was torturing him on Dirac!

I wanted to Force Schroedinger to explain, but the Current issue was my cat's Resistance to be around me. Then one day after Mass, I turned on the Vacuum, and the Volume surprised him so much that when I turned it off, he acted as gentle as a Lambdoes. So now I take him to the Circuits seven times a week - that's a Faraday!

Anyway, I went to c Schroedinger. "Did you Hertz that cat? Phi on you!" I said.

But he exploded: "Watt!??! Such Impedance! That Torr it - you used to have Potential, but if you don't speak with Gravity, the end of your career is Lumen!"

Well, it was all I could do to Coulomb down, but I don't want to Bohr you with the details. Planck's for a great question!

You owe the Orace a joke that ends: "Vector? I barely know her!"

There's more!

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Date: Thu, 24 Jul 03 15:08:27 -0500
From: Internet Oracle Subject: Internet Oracularity #1328-02
Selected-By: Kirsten Chevalier

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle most wise, whose feet I can't hope to lick,
> answer me this, please: If one writes haikus
> concatenating the lines, are they called haikus?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

The essence of the haiku is not the number of syllables nor their arrangement, although those are in fact necessary. It is rather the esoteric Zen-like aspect in which a contradiction appears, or vanishes.

Haiku Zen-like verse
Without the Buddha Nature
But still right. What Zen?