Michelangelo's David
by Fazia Rizvi
9 June 2003, 10:29 PM

Medical Rant
by Fazia Rizvi
9 June 2003, 4:42 PM

We turn now from grumbling about product manufacturers to insurance companies.

I now know why so many people go to the emergency room for non-emergencies. It's just EASIER dammit.

The state has dropped its HMO service Health Select Plus and we're all now on Health Select. Okay, fine, whatever. Except that means that every single referral, every single prescription, now is invalid. Which means I have to see my primary care physician to get all new prescriptions and get referrals all over again to my allergist.

Of course I have to wait first for my damn provider CARD that verifies I have coverage. It's been two months and it hasn't arrived yet. I'm out of my allergy medication, I'm going to be needing more birth-control pills and I have a sinus infection due to a cold. I feel like shit, and I'm waiting for a plastic card in the mail.

So I look on the back of my old one and try and figure out which one of the six 1-800 numbers I'm supposed to call. I guess wrong the first time and waste 15 minutes navigating through the "press 1 for this, 2 for that and 5 for anything else" and waiting for a customer service rep.

I get the right number, navigate again through those stupid menus and finally get a person on the line. I explain that I haven't got my card yet. We verify information. Turns out they have a very old address on file. But they can't change it. Noooooo, I have to talk to my benefits coordinator to do that. (Who of course will give me a form to fill out and send off myself to yet another place while I wait for a month for the address to finally get changed.) Meanwhile they can gladly send another card to the wrong address. Oh joy!

So I ask for the info on the card to be able to make an appointment with my PCP. The person on the other end says, "Sure. What information do you need?" HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW?!?!? Whatever the hell the doctor needs to be able to file with you guys! Just gimme all the damn numbers on the card.

So I get a "group number", and and "alpha-prefix". I have no idea if that's what my doctor's office will need but I also now have yet another 1-800 number that they can call to verify eligibility. Which they will do before they'll see me of course.

Next I call my doctor's office to schedule an appointment and hand over the numbers. I only get an answering service who can't an appointment for me. Clue for you folks - if I want to talk to a human being it's because I want them to be able to do something for me. If I want to leave a message I'd rather speak into a machine than go through some stranger.

*sigh*

So I got nowhere. I can call at 8am tomorrow, wait for them to take all day to verify me and finally schedule me to come in later this week or next.

meanwhile I'm going to take a mega-dose of decongestants, close all the blinds, crawl under the covers and moan. I'll contemplate going into the emergency room to ask them to stick a hose up my sinuses and vacuum out the snot so I can quit feeling like a I have a head full of snot, a throat full of snot and a stomach full of snot.

Products Rant
by Fazia Rizvi
9 June 2003, 3:29 PM

I sure hope they're teaching folks in business school some new tricks these days. I'm getting tired of the idea that assembly line products are are configured exactly like every single customer in that income bracket would want it. In this day and age we should be able to customize product orders much more easily.

Take for instance our new refrigerator. Since we can't remodel the kitchen NOW, we needed one that would fit inside the space given. BUT I also wanted SOME high end features inside this refrigerator. Clear solid door shelves for instance. I don't want things to fall out of them, but I also want to *see* what's in there. I wanted the humidity controls on the drawers for fruits and veggies. But neither of us wanted an ice-maker in the door. It's just wasted interior space for us - and we'd never use it.

But finding such a beats was very difficult. Most manufacturers seem to think that if you need a fridge with a smaller width that you also didn't want any high-end features. Or if you DID want high end features, they be all the ones related to having a large family that eats a ton of ice.

*sigh* We did eventually find a fridge that fit the bill. It's a freezer on bottom model that can hold milk jugs in the door. That's just perfect for us.

Except...

I eat more fruits and veggies than the average American. I would love to have *four* humidity controlled veggie and fruit drawers (or at least three), rather than just the one. And how about an extra snack drawer so we can separate our meats and cheeses? (That wimpy cheese/butter thingie in the door just won't do it for us.)

Well, it's a fridge with highly adjustable shelves and drawers. Surely we can order extra parts and exchange 'em ourselves? Surely we can just go to the home improvement store, look in the catalog for that manufacturer and oder another couple of drawers or shelves?

Yeah, right. To current manufacturers, "customize" and "adjustable" means, "you can move around, lengthen/shorten, tighten or loosen what we choose to give you". I figure the only way to get more parts is to call up customer service and tell 'em ours broke and we need a replacement.

Come ON folks! Let's start to think out of the box here! No, all people don't necessarily want to buy whole pre-packaged whole CDs anymore! Let us go to the music store, pick out individual songs, get them burned to a CD, have a few liner notes thrown in and pay for that! And while I'm at it, some f us station-wagon driving folks would like GPS navigation systems and gas mileage calculation and outside temperature gadgets too - we just don't want to buy an enormous SUV! Oh, and could somebody explain to broadcasters that many of us would MUCH rather *download* our current shows and past episodes of shows long-gone and watch them whenever the hell we want to (like maybe 1:30am on a Wednesday night after a round of painting the dining room) rather than when THEY think I'm supposed to have my ass on the couch on front of the TV.

Grump, grump, grump.